Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
