Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
