She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize