fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
