obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sext me about skeletons
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
