Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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