I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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