Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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