Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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