If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
