It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
