dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
