Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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