What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
