I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Even my vagina gasped.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
