i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he fucked my hip out of place.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
