Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
