How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
