gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
