Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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