Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
