I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize