i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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