will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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