im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
