No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
