i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
