he wants to bone in the snuggie
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
