I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
