He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
