He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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