'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mom said you looked used
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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