you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
