My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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