I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
