Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You ruined the universe
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
