I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
