you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize