So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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