direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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