i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
