I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
