why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So squirting runs in the family.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
