Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
God, I missed his penis.
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