She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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