Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
