Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
