his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My vagina just recognized that song.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
