forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
