Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
