So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
