He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
