that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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