Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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