I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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