I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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