Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
