I CAN MOONWALK!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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