I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
