My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Girls should come with a carfax report
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
